Efficient Waiter - IMBOC
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 02:04 PM Thread Starter

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Efficient Waiter

Efficient Waiter


Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?' 'Well, 'he explained,'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now..'
I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?' "Oh, certainly!'
Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39\%.' I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?' 'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 03:22 PM
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Gawd..............
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 04:54 PM
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So much for those health dept ABC ratings.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 02:51 PM
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This is fake news! You forgot to tell them how he always licks the spoon clean and drys it on his sock before putting it back in his pocket!
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Last edited by Jimbob; 04-21-2017 at 06:00 PM.
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