I have a special set of sockets for lug nuts that are lined with hard nylon inside and out. Easy on the lugs, won't scratch the wheels.
And, I always torque the lug nuts by hand with my torque wrench. Any good tire store should have those sockets. When I worked at Goodyear, the shop had a set to use on good wheels. One solution is to replace your lug nuts with a quality set of solid units and keep your originals in good shape for show or sale. Part of the problem, especially here in Canada, is that techs will use a metric socket when an imperial is required or vice versa.
The proper way to do it, in my opinion, is to crack the lug nuts just loose with a breaker bar, then use an 18-20V impact driver to take them off and back on, then torque to spec. Modern air guns can easily produce 350-400 ft'lbs torque. My Ingersol Rand will break lugs nuts, not the right tool.
I learned the hard way working on Porsches with Titanium lugs @ $40 each.
There's no excuse for that kind of shoddy workmanship.
McGard makes a good quality solid lug nut.