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The Washington Post' conducts its Mensa Invitational which asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an *******.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a
serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating
 

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One of my favorites from an earlier such contest:

Disconfect: To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will "remove" all the germs.
 

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public intoxication = I not pibluc incaton = yes you are. true story, someone said that to me one day while working. Sir I need your license and your wrists please.
 

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UDBullitt said:
public intoxication = I not pibluc incaton = yes you are. true story, someone said that to me one day while working. Sir I need your license and your wrists please.
So, who gets to clean out the back seat?:frown:
 

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I guess that could be one of the items that you like least about your job?:doubt:


I am glad to say that is not one place I have ever been. For any reason...
 

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I am happy to say that the club I belong to, called Densa (you may have heard of it), anyway, we don't have these silly little contests. We sit around all night drinking beer and then try to figure out how many brain cells we killed. Then someone yells "who cares!" And we all laugh and drool on ourselves...
 

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TOYS-R-ME! said:
I am happy to say that the club I belong to, called Densa (you may have heard of it), anyway, we don't have these silly little contests. We sit around all night drinking beer and then try to figure out how many brain cells we killed. Then someone yells "who cares!" And we all laugh and drool on ourselves...
Hey, I'm a member of that too!!!!
 

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The one Bill Jenkins raced is at The Garlits Museum of Drag Racing.
 

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DavidMidgley said:
I guess that could be one of the items that you like least about your job?:doubt:


I am glad to say that is not one place I have ever been. For any reason...

yea but at least the guy didn't try to walk home and get hit by a car.
 
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